Anger Management 101

Self-Esteem and Anger

Discover How Self-Esteem Helps You Deal with Your Anger 

You’ve found yourself feeling a lot of anger lately – you’ve lashed out on people without meaning to, hurting them and damaging your relationships with them in the process. Your anger has affected your work and your social life. You are beginning to feel like it’s taking you over, and that your anger has spiraled out of control. What do you do? 

They key to understanding your anger is to explore and discover its cause, or its root. And one of the common causes of anger in individuals is a lack of self-esteem.  

Self esteem and anger may seem like two entirely different and unrelated concepts, but they can be associated with each other in the way that they affect one another. A lack of self esteem can lead to higher levels of anger and rage. How and why, you ask? Here are some possible explanations. 

Low self-esteem can lead you to unhappiness and depression.  

When you’re unhappy and depressed, you are more prone to be infuriated and angry at certain circumstances and at the people around you. With low self-esteem, you are more likely to be dissatisfied with yourself and your life, and when you are dissatisfied, you are more likely to blame yourself and others for your dissatisfaction, leading you to hate yourself and to hate others.  That hate is just a manifestation of anger. 

Low self-esteem is that nagging voice in your head that eventually becomes that angry voice in your head.  

When a person has low self-esteem, he is never happy or satisfied with himself – in fact, he may even see himself as unattractive and unacceptable. Such negative thoughts and emotions, when they start to pile up inside a person, eventually transform into angry thoughts directed not only towards one’s self but also towards others, thereby becoming harmful not only to the person but the people around him.  

On the other hand, appropriate levels of self-esteem can lead to better anger management.  One main reason: self-esteem allows you to respect yourself and respect others. When you have high self-esteem, you respect yourself, and when you respect yourself, you also respect others.  And when you respect others, you don’t just lash out at them when you reach a disagreement, the way you would if you allowed your anger to take over your senses.  

 So how do you increase your self-esteem, and in the process handle you anger issues better? Here are some ways to help you do so.  

Enumerate the things that you like about yourself. 

You can do a list on paper or just in your head – in any case, enumerate the traits and characteristics that you like about yourself. Whenever you find yourself becoming destructive and overly criticizing, think of this list and allow it to make you feel better. These things that you like about yourself are your strengths - use them at times when you feel weak and defeated. 

Focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses. 

Once you’ve found and identified your strengths, it’s important to keep them in mind, instead of constantly thinking about your weaknesses. When you begin to pity and dislike yourself, start looking at your strengths and set side your weaknesses – deal with these weaknesses another time, when you’re confident enough about yourself to face your flaws, and either accept them or try to change them.  

Don’t dwell on failure, but relish in success.  

Sometimes things just go wrong, no matter how hard you try to keep them from doing so. When you’ve failed on something, think about where you might have gone wrong, realize the lessons you’ve learned from the experience, and move on. 

Don’t dwell on failures – learn from them and get on with life. Eventually success will come, and when it does, relish it, enjoy it. But don’t take too long doing so – enjoy your success for a while and then be ready to take on life’s next challenge afterwards. Success builds confidence, but leveraging on them too much might lead to misguided self esteem. Balance is the key.  

Still having problems with your anger and your self esteem? Do not be embarrassed to seek professional help. Remember that the earlier you try to find a solution to your problem, the better. If you find that you won’t be able to solve your issues alone, console with a friend or a psychiatrist – there’s no shame in asking of help and we will discuss this further on.

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Anger Management News:

MSN

Live Search: anger management site:msnbc.msn.com
Search results

Man hits woman on way to anger control class - Criminal weirdness ...
Justin John Boudin may have done his anger management homework, but he apparently didn't learn his lesson. The 27-year-old Minnesota man pleaded guilty to fifth-degree assault ...
No model behavior for Naomi Campbell - Gossip- msnbc.com
Naomi Campbell may want to get a refund on those anger-management courses.
Anger Management: Not Just For Celebrities - News- msnbc.com
A traffic jam on the way to work. The boss hassles you? again. You spill coffee on an important report. Little irritations can add up to big stress. 
'Nerd' taunt drove Navy man to arson - Internet- msnbc.com
A Navy man who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the Internet climbed into his car and drove 1,300 miles from Virginia to Texas to teach the other guy a lesson.
Democrats too angry to win White House? - Politics- msnbc.com
And to hear Republicans tell it, Clinton is just one of many Democrats with an anger management problem. Former Vice President Al Gore is angry.

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Google

anger management - Google News
anger management - Google News

Deputy clerk agrees to parenting, anger management class - Murfreesboro Post

Deputy clerk agrees to parenting, anger management class
Murfreesboro Post, TN - Nov 18, 2008
An aggravated domestic assault charge against a deputy court clerk was retired Tuesday after she agreed to attend parenting and anger management classes. ...
Online Anger Management Classes Gain Momentum with Business ... - Live-PR.com...

Online Anger Management Classes Gain Momentum with Business ...
Live-PR.com (Pressemitteilung), Austria - Nov 19, 2008
(live-PR.com) - Laguna Beach, CA, November 13, 2008 -- AJ Novick Group, Inc is the leading global provider of Online Anger Management Classes and training ...
Taming tempers - Silver Chips Online

Taming tempers
Silver Chips Online, MD - Nov 18, 2008
According to Anutza Bellissimo, Director of the Stress and Anger Management Institute (SAMI), anger can be healthy in small doses - but when it gets out of ...
City Councilman hopes anger management will fix his reputation - OCRegister

City Councilman hopes anger management will fix his reputation
OCRegister, CA - Nov 6, 2008
I'm here for anger management. But what happened to me? I wasn't angry." MacLean, 50, may be Orange County's only unemployed city councilman. ...
GE Enterprise Solutions Showcases Diverse Industry Applications to ... - Mark...

GE Enterprise Solutions Showcases Diverse Industry Applications to ...
MarketWatch - 7 hours ago
... data management, and integrated control. "This broad array of solutions meshes well with the needs of this growing economy," said Anger. ...

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Yahoo!

Yahoo! News Search Results for anger management
Yahoo! News Search Results for anger management

Chronic illness can result in anger (UPI)
NEW YORK, Nov. 19 (UPI) -- People diagnosed with chronic illness face worries about treatment, but also feelings of unfairness and fear, which can turn into anger, a U.S. expert says.
Councilwoman criticized for Catholic remarks (The State)
HILTON HEAD ISLAND -- Several Beaufort County residents and officials expressed surprise and anger Tuesday after County Councilwoman Laura Von Harten criticized the Roman Catholic Church?s stance on women and reproductive rights during a rezoning discussion Monday. Von Harten brought up church positions that don?t allow women to become priests and on ?uterus rights? while the Land Management ...
Remarks about church provoke criticism (The State)
Several Beaufort County residents and officials expressed surprise and anger Tuesday after County Councilwoman Laura Von Harten criticized the Roman Catholic Church?s stance on women and reproductive rights during a rezoning discussion Monday. Von Harten brought up church positions that don?t allow women to become priests and on ?uterus rights? while the Land Management Committee debated whether ...
Report: Titans RB White placed on probation (WWTI Watertown)
Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White has reportedly been placed on probation after pleading guilty to disturbing the peace in a March incident in Denver. The Tennessean reported Tuesday that White will need to attend an anger management class, though the case will be thrown out if White avoids unlawful situations for the next year. The newspaper cited a judicial assistant in Denver's ...
Religion news in brief (AP via Yahoo! News)
The World Council of Churches will help deliver Christmas messages and prayers of peace to the biblical birthplace of Jesus.

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