How to Improve Self-Confidence!

Table of Contents

What is self-confidence?

What are the natural enemies of self confidence?

Fear of rejection

Fear of losing a friend or loved one

Fear of failure

Fear of people

Stand up straight

Walk faster

Shake hands firmly

Make Eye Contact

Changing your self talk

Speak "I can" instead of "I can't"

Set goals

Smile and try to think a negative thought

Using daily affirmations

What is self-confidence? 

How to gain self confidence

Today is one of those days when your group has to make a presentation to a client.  This is an important occasion because it is an opportunity to get your boss' attention.  It could mean a raise or a promotion if you could just muster the courage to stand there in front of these people and present your proposal.  The problem is, your shyness gets the better of you, and you are relegated to the background. 

You sat there mesmerized, as your colleague Elena made a winning presentation of your proposal.  She stood there, dressed in a simple gray suit that spelled confidence!  "Why can't I gather enough courage to present my work to these people when I know this project like the back of my hand," you ask yourself. 

Self confidence.  This is what you lack, and this is what your colleague Elena has.  But what is self confidence?  Is it the ability to speak in a loud voice so you can get people's attention?  Is it about power dressing?   

Self confidence is an attitude that is characterized by a positive belief that one can take control of one's life and of one's plans.   

People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things.  They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence.  It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say.  People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way. 

Factors in gaining self confidence 

While the process of attaining self confidence starts from childhood, an adult can still gain self confidence through his determination and through the support of his family and friends.   

Parental support and acceptance

People begin to develop confidence while growing up.  The role of parents in instilling self confidence in their children is very important.  Parents who are always critical of their children without acknowledging the latter's strengths unknowingly dampen the development of their self confidence.   

On the other hand, parents who are always willing to give support while encouraging their children to take a step forward will most likely rear self confident children.  Parents who make their children feel loved and accepted despite their imperfections will most likely encourage self confidence. 

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person's abilities.  In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities. 

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.    

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that.  Make full use of your strength and gather positive points.  This will help you gain self confidence.  Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way.  Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes. 

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them.   Do not under estimate yourself.  Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful.   Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person. 

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself.  It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book.  Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there.  This will give you more confidence to do other things in life. 

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself.  If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence.  Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant.  Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost. 

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration.  In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence. 

In the upcoming chapter we will narrow our focus, look at the specifics and come up with definitive ideas and suggestions that you can put to work in your life to achieve increased confidence in all you do.

To be continued

Confidence News:

MSN

Live Search: confidence site:msnbc.msn.com
Search results

Consumer confidence weakens significantly - Stocks & economy- msnbc ...
Consumer confidence plunged in February as Americans worried about less-favorable business conditions and job prospects, a business-backed research group said Tuesday.
O. Roberts head gets no confidence vote - Education- msnbc.com
Embattled Oral Roberts University president Richard Roberts, facing accusations he misspent university funds to support a lavish lifestyle, has received a vote of no confidence by ...
The cancer's gone, so where's my confidence? - Low Blow- msnbc.com
There's no accounting for how cancer changes us. Some of us work less,  play more, try to make up for lost time, "live like you were dying," as the country hit says.  I underwent ...
Consumer confidence drops to 2-year low - Stocks & economy- msnbc.com
With Christmas only a month away, American consumers became more pessimistic about the economy in November, sending a widely watched barometer of confidence to the lowest level in ...
Latifah endorses Woman?s Confidence Day - Celebrities- msnbc.com
Proposal suggests first Wednesday in June be used to celebrate women ... Latifah endorses Woman?s Confidence Day Proposal suggests first Wednesday in June be used to celebrate ...

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Google

confidence - Google News
confidence - Google News

Spherion Survey Shows First Increase in Overall Worker Confidence ... - Marke...

Spherion Survey Shows First Increase in Overall Worker Confidence ...
MarketWatch - 2 hours ago
LAUDERDALE, Fla., Sept 05, 2008 /PRNewswire-FirstCall via COMTEX/ -- The Spherion Employee Confidence Index jumped 2.4 points to 47.6 in August, ...
Spherion Survey Shows First Increase in Overall Worker Confidence ... CNNMoney.com (press release)
all 8 news articles
Trojan Times: Receivers get big confidence boost - Los Angeles Times

Washington Post
Trojan Times: Receivers get big confidence boost
Los Angeles Times, CA - 5 hours ago
After an impressive drop-free performance in their opener, USC receivers are confident that the criticism that dogged the unit last season is behind them . ...
Video: Terrelle Pryor Might Play in Ohio State Opener AssociatedPress
USC will watch Ohio State-Ohio game for quarterback clues Los Angeles Times
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Clausen's confidence holds key to Irish improvement - Chicago Sun-Times

TheOnlinewire
Clausen's confidence holds key to Irish improvement
Chicago Sun-Times, United States - 12 hours ago
BY NEIL HAYES nhayes@suntimes.com SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- How much Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen has matured mentally and physically since last season ...
Frank?s San Diego State Preview UHND.com
With confident Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame offense in good hands Chicago Tribune
A Look At ND Fighting Irish Insider
all 92 news articles
Bengals' confidence in Perry helps pave the way for Johnson's ... - Pro Footb...

Bengals' confidence in Perry helps pave the way for Johnson's ...
Pro Football Weekly, IL - 2 hours ago
But Perry is finally getting a chance to become the Bengals? featured back, and the club?s confidence in him went a long way in the decision to cut RB Rudi ...
Confidence or Caution - NJ.com

Confidence or Caution
NJ.com, New Jersey - 2 hours ago
Instead, I became curious about what they're saying for the upcoming Mets-Phillies series in the City of Brotherly Love. Needless to say, the tone isn't so ...

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Yahoo!

Yahoo! News Search Results for confidence
Yahoo! News Search Results for confidence

Liberia: UL Student Group Declares 'Vote of No Confidence' (AllAfrica.com)
A group calling itself the "Rainbow Coalition" at the University of Liberia has declared a "vote of no confidence" in Dr. Amos C. Sawyer's led search committee to replace outgoing President Dr. Al-Hassan Conteh, terming it as a conduit designed slyly by the government to stall the departure of Dr. Conteh and the reopening of the institution.
South Africa: Confidence Hits Four-Year Low (AllAfrica.com)
BUSINESS confidence in SA slumped to its lowest level in more than four years last month as the weak local and global economic environment continued to exert negative pressure on business sentiment.
Survey: CEO confidence on upswing (TechJournal South)
CEO confidence rebounded during the month of August, growing 10 percent according to a new monthly Chief Executive magazine survey.
Drama Kids boosts confidence (Pearland Journal)
Realizing the opportunity to make a ?dramatic? difference in the community, Drama Kids International has set out to build the speech skills and confidence of children throughout Pearland by offering a new program that is changing the ?scene? of traditional drama instruction.
Spherion Survey Shows First Increase in Overall Worker Confidence Since May A...
The Spherion Employee Confidence Index jumped 2.4 points to 47.6 in August, representing the first increase in the Index since May. The survey, conducted by Harris Interactive® on behalf of Spherion Corporation measures U.S. workers' confidence in their personal employment situation and optimism in the macroeconomic environment.

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